Reply to Coming to terms with paying so much for an unmotivated student who hates college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

It will be so embarrassing the parents can't keep up the fake appearance they're [i]amazing[/i] parents and he's doing [i]amazing[/i] at college. And the validity of that [b]fake parenting[/b] is some worthless $100,000 bachelor's. The future "salesman" doesn't need a degree to go sell cars or be a loan officer. Instead of yanking an [b]obvious mooching manipulating brat[/b] out of his multi-year spring break -- maybe waking him up for once or just saving the family a substantial sum of money -- you underwrite it, [b]so mommy and daddy's friends and associates don't know[/b] they've raised an unmotivated bum.[/quote]

PP, I say this with good intent: If your post is serious, you should do some self-evaluation as you appear to be a vindictive and bitter person.  If you are trolling, and doing this for "fun", then you are a sick person.[/quote]

There is nothing sick,[b] bitter or vindictive [/b]here. I think the PP raises some excellent points that more of us need to think about. Sorry if it hits too close to home for you.[/quote]

DP: I think the bolded above reads fairly bitter and vindictive and really off the mark.  Nothing in OP's post suggests their concerns have to do with keeping up appearances or validating their parenting skills.  And BTW this doesn't hit near home at all for me. My college kid tends more to the anxious, self-critical perfectionist type A side --I wouldn't mind if they picked up a bit of the slacker mentality.  
My advice though is to frame it as the upper levels of undergrad are really finding a realistic path forward and just keep holding him to that. Plug the career center, ask about jobs a lot.  I think it's okay to be a bit of a nag. I would also lessen up any extra money you give--still support the basic expenses -tuition, books, room and board--but not enough for extra social activities.  Just think of your job as letting a little more reality increasingly seep through.

It's increasingly on him to do this, not you.[/quote]

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