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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Your husband could very well have ADHD, and possibly some form of autism. He will need to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist. I really hope it's ADHD, OP, because stimulants for ADHD tend to work well, whereas none of the other disorders have efficient pharmacological treatment.

I also wanted to explain something I've observed with my husband, who has both ADHD and Asperger's, and refuses to medicate himself (a post for another day!).
He has gone through many decades of life constantly being late for everything, constantly forgetting things, and constantly missing deadlines. He struggles with prioritizing tasks, especially when pressed for time, then gets stressed out and has an anger episode or something else similarly abusive and irrational. Someone else is always to blame. His mistakes are never that big of a deal, but ours always are.

I wondered for a very long time what his thought process was. I think I understand it now: it's a way around constant guilt and shame. For a high-IQ individual, like my husband, and maybe yours, it defies logic to be so dysfunctional. If they were to see things as they really are, they'd be severely depressed about their failures. Instead they create a different reality that soothes their egos and makes them believe that it's someone else's fault, or that their bizarre actions do not defy logic. They rationalize and convince themselves that they are not at fault.

A bit like Trump, did you notice? Politics aside (because this has nothing to do with politics), this is exactly what Trump does: deflect, blame, twist facts to suit a more flattering pseudo-reality. It's not calculated strategy, it's a reflexive sort of auto-defense. That's why I know Trump is mentally disordered. He behaves exactly like my husband, who has official diagnoses.

What's interesting is that plenty of people with ADHD do not behave like this! Probably those with milder forms. I have mild ADHD, and also have anxiety and a desire to please. These last two actually help keep my ADHD in check. I am never late, and I do my best to be organized, because I hyperfocus on those so that I can keep managing my house, my husband, my children, and my life. My anxiety makes me functional - apart from those times when it overwhelms me and I have a panic attack.

Anyway, I hope my experience is helpful to you. Stay strong, OP.
[/quote]

OP, this is a thoughtful and helpful post. My husband is like this too (not diagnosed with anything, no mistake is that bad and I've chosen to overlook them or correct them myself). One thing I noticed is that he gets embarrassed and panics - I could totally see him doing the broken outlet thing you describe. It gets better when I back off and don't make a big deal of things. Good luck to you. [/quote]

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