Reply to Mother has decided to “retire” at 58

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]American culture is so strange. Grandparents refuse to help out with grandchildren, adult children refuse to help support aging parents. I was born and raised here, but it's such a strange comparison to other cultures where family members are expected to help each other. 
 [/quote]

[b]It's because of how parents raise children here.[/b] I'm an Eastern European (not born here) married to an American. The way my husband was raised, I can only call mild neglect - he was sheltered and fed, but as a baby he was stuck in daycare (my own kids are in daycare, but in his case it was often overnight daycare so his parents could socialize). Starting with elementary school, he was a latchkey kid while parents built careers and lived their best lives. He ate dinner alone most nights unless friends' parents took pity on him. And I'm not talking about people who were working day and night trying to make ends meet, I'm talking about people who left early by choice to go to the gym, and came home late because they stopped for dinner or drinks with friends, leaving their elementary schooler at home alone to heat up frozen processed meals. He was made to move out at 18, worked full time and went to school full time, and got zero help from them - he lived on ketchup on bread at times.

DCUM would say, his parents didn't owe him anything, he was an adult and needed to pay his own way. But now that his parents are old, they expect love and support and a close bond. Where exactly is that bond supposed to come from, magic? [/quote]

I think you're partially right. But, my parents were raised better. They had a very involved set of grandparents on both sides, as well as aunts and uncles. But, now they seem to not pay that forward at all because they "raised their kids." Well, they are partially right. But, they scored touchdowns with family help  that gave them a start on the 50 yard line and they act like they did it themselves. They didn't- in labor or financially. I have see this trend in many, many -though not all, for sure- boomer parents. They view it as "Freedom" from their kids and kid rearing, which tells you what they thought of having kids even with the help.

My parents will be on their own in their elder years.[/quote]
In other words, you will leave them
Alone because they will not provide free childcare. Ok we get it.[/quote]

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