Reply to Fantasy vs. Action

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, it seems like the real purpose of your “question” is to [b]elicit responses to confirm you are right and your husband is wrong[/b]. You may wish to examine your own motives.

To answer your question, we have lots of fantasies that have gone unfulfilled. For example, both of us love the idea of group sex, but recognize that there are lots of potential problems bringing that about. [/quote]

Yes, and it is OK for OP to ask for confirmation that she is right. And she is right. He's badgering her and she is starting to doubt herself.
OP, it is totally OK to have limits, it is OK to have fantasies that don't get acted out. You've expressed your limits respectfully, and your DH needs to respect them.[/quote]

Actually, none of us know if she is right because we only have one side of the story. [/quote]

When it comes to sex, no means no. That's the only side that matters. When one person makes a boundary clear, it should be respected. The other person shouldn't be badgering or pressuring them to change their mind. [/quote]

She's right because she said no to having sex with somebody she doesn't want to have sex with. That is ALWAYS right.  What is your problem?[/quote]
[b]
Ha! In this  case OP literally said no to having sex with a stranger she met at a bar. Her husband is mad at her because she doesn’t want to sleep with strangers. [/b]There is no other side to this story. This sounds pretty abusive to me.

OP should stop thinking of ways to appease her abusive husband and start focusing on getting herself some help. Maybe start with therapy and work her way to a divorce attorney?

[/quote]

I've commented plenty in this this post but, perhaps there is another side we are missing.  After all she wrote, she also said, " I’m writing this now, at 3:00 a.m., because I can’t sleep from my stomach churning and my mind racing [b]about what we’re about to do this weekend[/b], but I know if I tell him how I feel, he’ll say I ruin everything."

Is it possible that for all her angst, there is a side of her that is in favor of the idea just enough to have agreed to some level of his idea for this weekend?  And she is teasing the story a bit?  Come one OP, tell us what happened.  You know you want to.

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