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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I get you. We had a trip with SO's sibling and wife and it went similarly. They also insist on hosting post-Christmas  with MIL except sibling's wife always makes a big show of complaining how *I* specifically do not help wash all of the dishes and clear the ONE meal she makes over the four days we all visit but SO & I have made or paid for all other meals and groceries... It's truly baffling. MIL doesn't believe males should clean and it's a power trip. No kids involved on either trip/visit either.

Last time, just as she was asking us to make dinner again when we arrived (~6h drive) around 8p, I just smiled and said how grateful I was to FINALLY be a guest since I ALWAYS did so much hosting and how much I was looking forward to relaxing and finally tasting her cooking since her SO said so many nice things about it.  
We left their messes alone, kept anything of ours confined to our bedroom, and we left early. There is no one for them to blame and no inclination on our/your part to be overly helpful when you are gone and away from it.

Just get a separate place. Your ILs are obviously used to and enjoying the free ride on meals. I don't blame your MIL for not catering to everyone if she normally does and certainly hope you and SO help when you're there for the holidays. We do ours in short shifts so everyone gets to hang out with our guests and it is not left to just one person.
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