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[quote=Anonymous]OP, part of therapists’ training is in not knocking down a patient/client’s defenses before they’ve developed the capacity to deal with the issues they’re defending against.  You are not trained in this.  It may be true that this is an elaborate defense mechanism of denial on the part of your nephew, but you are in no way qualified to knock it away just because it seems ridiculous to you!  Your nephew has a whole life constructed around his belief that he is “not really” a POC.  If he suddenly sees himself differently, will he still fit into that life?  Will his wife be down to follow him on that journey?  Will his coworkers?  His friends?  His family?

Yes, be there for him if he comes to it on his own.  Do not push him to a place he is not prepared to go!  If he says “Can you believe people at work think I’m a POC?!?”  You can say, “Well, you are biracial with [describe features], so I’m not entirely surprised they would think so.” Etc.  Neutral, truthful, DON’T push.[/quote]

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