Reply to My in-laws refuse to speak English in my present

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. I wish they can at least speak English at meal time so I can join in and not feel like stranger at the table' and if they have any plan with my daughter, I should be involve in the conversation. Also a few times, my husband told me about something they talked a few days ago that I had value information/opinion. If I had known, it would save them time to find out.
I feel more tension between myself and my ILs, due to the fact that I can't get over this issue so I was hoping someone can point out something to help me. I guess I have to accept this or learn Cantonese. [/quote]

i'm the pp that suggested compromise back on page 2.  this happens even among us chinese.  my family speaks a dialect (shanghainese) in addition to mandarin while my husband only speaks mandarin.  so when my parents are around, their preference is dialect &gt; mandarin &gt; english.  when they speak to DH, they start out with mandarin, but after 2 to 3 sentences, the dialect slips in w/o them noticing it.  if i'm around, i'll speak up, if i'm not, DH is lost.  [b]after many years, DH just accepts it as way of life.  [/b]he has no interest in learning the dialect nor do i push it either way. [b] if the conversation is important or involves him, i'll remind my folks to speak mandarin, o/w he just [/b]assumes it's not worthy of him paying attn.

probably not helpful to you.  but rest assured that this happens all the time, not just to families made of different ethnicities, but when there is a language barrier + family dynamics + cultural differences, it gets complicated.  in your case, either you learn cantonese or learn to let it go.  [/quote]

... so in other words, you're about as rude as the OP's ILs. Got it.[/quote]

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