Reply to What makes teens so annoying to parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine is on the verge of being a teen:

Honestly, you just start losing your grip on them. For instance, I am trying to keep a routine this summer that doesn't include constant video games, screen, etc. It's been one confrontation after another.

Communication:

Me: How was school?
DS: Fine.
Me: What did you enjoy the most at school today?
DS: Stop interrogating me.

Me (calmly): turn off the tv and find something else to do. 
DS: In a minute.
Me (a minute later, calmly): turn off the tv and find something else to do.
DS ignoring me
Me (calmly): You've been watching tv for three solid hours. Turn it off and find something else to do. 
DS: In a minute
Me: (a few minutes later, raising my voice): find something else to do or something will be found. 
DS: Why are you yelling? I was doing what you wanted. You don't have to be so crazy.

[/quote]

In the first case, you just asked open-ended generic questions. You could try to find out what they are learning about, especially in the child's favorite subject. You didn't put in much effort. Why should the child?

In the second case you did some repetitive nagging. You told the child to do "something else" but you didn't provide any ideas.
Instead you just did repetitive nagging. You didn't put in much effort. Why should the child?

No surprises here.[/quote]

I understand that all teens are different, so there is no one answer, but I really don't understand your comment. Why should the parents have provided options for the kids as entertainment? Parents of youngers kids do this all the time, and kids figure it out just fine. You really think a 13 or 14 year old can't come up with other ways to entertain themselves with something other than a screen?[/quote]

When my children were 13-14, I was still successfully encouraging activities outside the realm of entertainment,  such as learning a foreign language, investigating a complex piece of music, looking at a  mathematical puzzle, writing a song, etc.  It is intesting that you equate "something to do" with "entertainment", while "something to do" can involve development of intellect.

[/quote]

I'm the pp who posted the conversation. Yes, I admit, I could be more specific and engaging at times, but in my defense, I certainly have made alternative suggestions and asked specific questions. The post about solving mathematical puzzles, writing a song, or investigating complex music is pretentious and annoying. I seem to get a lot of pushback when I tell my kid that he should learn a foreign language instead of watching youtube, but he's probably not as smart your kids. [/quote]

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