Reply to 22 year old DD living with us while doing her PhD

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you don’t come home I need a text at 11 pm do I know and something at 10 am so I know you are alive.[/quote]

Dont do this, treat her as an adult. [/quote]

But thoughtful, responsible adults do text home to let their loved ones know if they are running late, won't be home, etc.  That's part of being a responsible, grown adult.

And, if this young lady is borrowing her parents' car, she absolutely needs to keep them apprised of where/when she is driving that vehicle.[/quote]

Good god. If I were her, I’d never come live with my own parents. Far easier to live with total strangers it seems. Really got to wonder your relationship your own kids.[/quote]

Part of being an independent, young adult means actually being responsible for yourself.  If you are borrowing your parents' car and they are paying for your insurance, you are not entitled to take that car places w/o telling them where you are going.  That doesn't mean that you can't go to Subway on your lunch break w/o telling your parents where you're going but if you are planning a day trip to the beach using their vehicle that is most certainly their business.

If you want complete independence from your parents then you really can't be living in their home and borrowing things that they are ultimately the ones responsible for.

Living at home can absolutely work out but it needs to be a mutually responsible and respectful relationship - not a complete use on either part.[/quote]

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