Reply to 22 year old DD living with us while doing her PhD

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you don’t come home I need a text at 11 pm do I know and something at 10 am so I know you are alive.[/quote]

I like this suggestion. I know she'd need her privacy, but I'd worry. Otherwise I think treating each other as respectful roommates is great advice. Don't let her fall into a pattern of your doing everything for her.[/quote]

On the other hand, I think this is ridiculous.  Why would you assume she’s lying in a ditch somewhere?  What if she spent the night somewhere and isn’t up by 10? I agree not to do everything for her and to treat one another as respectful roommates, which does NOT include timed checkins.  Treat her as the adult she is.[/quote]
NP. Does she need to check in by 11 on the dot every single night? Of course not. But when I lived with roommates (my own age) we ALWAYS shot each other texts if we knew we wouldn't be coming home for the night/coming home really late/etc. It's just common courtesy, whether you're living with your parents or non-parental roommates, and IMO the OP has every right to expect very basic common courtesy like that. [/quote]

Ok.  Well, when I lived with roommates we didn’t do that.  So I would leave it up to her.[/quote]

NP and another vote for the nightly check ins as ridiculous.  Sure, I'll check in with you in the morning if I spend the night at my boyfriend's house last minute, but I'm not going to be tied down to nighty texts to roommates or parents as a grown independent woman.  That wasn't our norm either.  If you want to set that up with your roommates as a voluntary system, go for it, but it's not universally acknowledged as common courtesy as the various opinions on this board show.

Also, re a different poster - I worked in a lab and we did not have cell service except in the main ground floor halls and exterior offices(old buildings).  This is just going to depend on the facility but it's definitely not a given.[/quote]

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