Reply to Maternal Instinct Isn’t Real, But the Myth Makes Parenting Harder

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the hormones do make you responsive to your kids, and I think it works for moms and dads (although I think moms often get more of the hormones through pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding).

However, I don't think this equates to "bonding" or knowing how to care for a child.  You might be responsive but not know what to do intuitively -- in fact, I think a lot of parents do not "intuitively" know what to do, and that's the part of the "instinct" discussion that rubs me the wrong way.  I also don't think you necessarily have to feel bonded in order to care for a child.

PPD can also really mess with this supposed "instinct," and all the talk about the instinct can worsen PPD if you feel like you don't have the instinct and aren't all that gaga over your baby.  I had PPD with my friend, lots of trouble with breastfeeding, and a really difficult baby.  We were not bonded well, although I took care of him fine.  I didn't have PPD with my second, and I bonded much more with him, but I think I cared for both similarly in terms of actually making sure their needs were met.[/quote]
omg. This![/quote]

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