Toggle navigation
Toggle navigation
Home
DCUM Forums
Nanny Forums
Events
About DCUM
Advertising
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
FAQs and Guidelines
Privacy Policy
Your current identity is: Anonymous
Login
Preview
Subject:
Forum Index
»
General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Maternal Instinct Isn’t Real, But the Myth Makes Parenting Harder"
Subject:
Emoticons
More smilies
Text Color:
Default
Dark Red
Red
Orange
Brown
Yellow
Green
Olive
Cyan
Blue
Dark Blue
Violet
White
Black
Font:
Very Small
Small
Normal
Big
Giant
Close Marks
[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The words we use are interesting to me. My experience of being a mom felt like duty, not instinct - I cared for my baby not because I was emotionally driven to do so, but because he was totally helpless, I was the one there, and what was the alternative? Maybe that is instinct, I don't know, but it sure didn't feel like having a sense of WHAT to do, or doing it out of love. I felt that way about how little kids love their parents, and vice versa, too. It's not earned and it's not transcendent. They're completely dependent and can't not love the people taking care of them unless something has gone badly wrong. We love them at first, before they have personalities, because they need us.[/quote] DH struggled with a bond at first and something I read and then said to him really resonated with him: we don't take care of them because we love them, we love them because we take care of them. [/quote]
Options
Disable HTML in this message
Disable BB Code in this message
Disable smilies in this message
Review message
Search
Recent Topics
Hottest Topics
