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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You were in the wrong. She wanted to vent, not get suggestions. Let people deal with their pain and hurt their way, if it is causing you no harm[/quote]

Yes, she must have been going through rough patch for a while, people are usually having other symptoms for a long time before diagnosis.
It feels like you let her down when she really needed you. I don't know if you realize what it means to have a parent to be diagnosed with a sentence to death. It can make you go crazy in a way.. even if it is a temporary insanity,  most people forgive what is said in such times and most people are in so much pain they can not censor themselves, the grief is huge..

She truly did not ask for advice.. and often it is not w hat is needed at this time.. first comfort and understanding, lots of it, and a sholder to cry
and supportive arm.. and then eventually if the situation warrants.. but you nned to be really tactful.

You see.. there is this saying "I don't care how much you know, I want to know how much you care" Who knows maybe you have a history
of offering wrong kind of help to her and maybe that is why she called you out and you used it against her?

You gotta  some serious soul searching to do. You are not anywhere near done in my book. 
[/quote]

So your story is she called me up all sad and crying and wanted moral support and love? You don't know a true, diagnosed, narcissist.

Let me be clear. She texted me to say that 'the tests on my mother weren't what we expected', then silence. If I asked a question via text, she didn't respond. That's the withholding side of NPD, how they keep their superiority over you.  I let it go for about two weeks. Then I texted again, asking "how's your mom?". I got back a text saying they were going to the oncologist the next day. I asked her if it was a reoccurrence of her lung cancer from 5 years ago, to which she said yes, then went on to tell me that she's keeping a notebook "so I can clearly explain to her without the semantics the doctors use to make it sound less bad". That's a direct quote. Why she would want to hurt her mother like that? Well, that's what narcissists do.  It was at that point I mentioned immunotherapy, which brought a barrage of attacks insulting my intelligence, to which I replied that I've dealt with the the veiled and not so veiled 'you're so stupid' comments for years and I was done.

And I am.

So you see your scenarios are made up, specifically so you can judge me. Please.[/quote]

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