Reply to DH angry over childcare situation.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why can't he drive cross town for pick up and drop off if he's insistent on it?  I don't think its fair to your MIL.[/quote]

There are lots of options here and your DH and MIL are indeed not realistic.

She is older now and more frail. Difficult to watch babies and toddlers

Au pairs might be option for 40-45 hours a week. And could drive.  Or a nanny share IN your neighborhood- $10-14 per kid per hour. Less if 3-5 kids total. (Attention will be less too).

Nannies for one child are $15-17 p kid cash, $17-20/hour w-2 in wash dC. Hire nannies 1 month before the need. They don’t arrive in the market months before a start date. Interviewing is key, references too, and constant managing/communicating.

Yes SIl lucked out and got some free household help and childcare.  Your husband needs to make amends about this, possibly your MIL can make it fair we in other ways (more babysitting, splitting her time, helping when/if one of you travel). But getting quality care needs to be the priority- not saving money or equalizing other peoples relationship with him. But yes it is not fair. Ideally MIL stops carrying for SIl kids and starts caring for yours: she should do years 1-3 with each. [/quote]

No good nanny will do a 5 kid nannyshare. And I don’t see why a parent would choose that given that the ratio for centers until 2 is 3 to 1 in DC and 2 to 1 for inhomes for infants.[/quote]

You mean 3-kid nanny share?  Agree, it doesn't really happen -- unless the 3rd kid is maybe a sibling in school all day, so the nanny just has 3 for the last part of the day.  Still, I avoided this kind of arrangement when I was looking at nanny shares, because I didn't want my baby's naps & afternoons held hostage to the preschool pickup.  It's an arrangement that primarily benefits the sibling pair.  [/quote]

I’m the pp that went with the daycare that did the separate infant group. I chose that over a nanny share even with one older kid. I’m glad I did. He’s always with an age appropriate group doing age appropriate things. They have two full timers and a part timer/sub and separate nap, eating, and play rooms so they’re always age separated. [/quote]

Right, it's a professional operation where multiple caregivers can cover for each other, and where the caregivers know how to schedule babies, make sure they're getting activities, etc. Very different from dumping 3 babies on Grandma with no backup ...[/quote]

Yes and honestly less germs if that is ops concern. Sanitary procedures, no shared dishes or bottles or cribs,  plus he’s really only getting touched by the other baby in the group. Young healthy caregivers.[/quote]

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