Reply to Just dropped a friend with NPD

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You were kind of thoughtless for both making light of her moms diagnosis and for dropping her when she called you out on it. [/quote]
How was OP making light of friend's mom's diagnosis?[/quote]

By implying that since it’s treatable it’s not such a crisis and doing so when this person was clearly in crisis. [/quote]

Doctors are planning chemo and radiation. Obviously treatable. Survivable long term? No. Immunotherapy has shown to help substantially, if eligible. I merely suggested she ask the oncologist today since it’s a planning session[/quote]

Wow.  Oncologists prescribe that even when there is zero hope.  Ask me how I know...

Immunotherapy does not work on many types of lung cancers.  There are different kinds, btw.[/quote]

And many policies often decline coverage, [b]particularly in elderly. [/b] [/quote]

As they should. Your body needs to be in good shape to withstand certain treatments. The worst thing for an elderly patient is to spend their remaining time too sick to do anything but be sick. Cancer treatment can be fatal. We forget that.[/quote]

Immunotherapy can actually be kinder to a body than chemo in a lot of cases. Of course whether she’s even eligible is something to ask about

I have 91 year old friend and colleague just diagnosed with breast cancer. The oncologist did 6 months of radiation because she’s a young 91. Still works, no memory issues, etc   Insurance paid. My own grandmother had a pacemaker replaced at 99 because she was a young 99. Insurance paid.

So much speculation here!

[/quote]

Sure, it “can be”. It’s also often not funded, not useful for certain types of cancers, hard to access in certain areas, etc.

I find it ironic that there are a bunch of back seat oncologists on here pointing fingers, calling everyone else an armchair psychologist.

I have a feeling, based on OPs posts, that she has a history of mean and controlling behaviour towards her friend, then using her friend’s known NPD diagnosis as a canard for her own terrible dealings/communication/relationship.

[/quote]

Lots of speculation here also.  If asking an individual about the potential of immunotherapy brings forth a raft of nasty comments, that’s on the nasty person. [/quote]

No, not really. Reaching out and Talking with a friend means being sensitive to their needs.

Friend: my husband didn’t do the dishes again, I’m so tired, with working and the kids and all. Sometimes I just need a break. I really just need some space to think and decompress. There’s so much going on, I can barely think. DH wants counselling and the like.

OP: you need to call Owens, Blake, and Larlo. They’re divorce lawyers. I know you haven’t had the chance to meet with your couples therapist yet, but I read some NYT articles and these guys are the BEST. You could totally get everything. Don’t even think - you have to do everything NOW. [/quote]

With narcissistic people, the need to insult and denigrate those that try to empathize with them. That’s what makes them feel better. It’s important to her narcissistic supply to be seen as the brightest people in the room. I guarantee you that she will denigrate doctors, nurses, in the process. It will be more important for her to be seen as dumber than her, in her mind.

When someone suggests a point of action as you did above, that’s being sensitive to their needs. A narcissistic person doesn’t want that and will attack the other individual, like the comment about ‘unlike the tv commercials you watch’  a narcissistic person is ‘above’ tv and assumes the friend got the information from a commercial because they see the friend as incredibly stupid. [/quote]

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