Reply to Separating after 20+ years married. Alimony?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My Sister was married for close to twenty years.

When she divorced, she got 1/2 of what her husband earns plus 1/2 his retirement.

The alimony is forever unless she re-marries.
She lives in CA which is hugely a property state.[/quote]

The state should compel her to work the same number of hours per week as her ex husband. Even if that’s a minimum wage Walmart job, it is unconscionable to think that a State can force a man to work while a woman does no work. Regardless of how great she might have once been as a SAHM, once those child duties are complete (ie kids are in school full time) she has NOT done anything to earn a lifetime of free income with zero work hours. [/quote]

Uhhh...and most divorced SAH spouses DO go back to work.  They need health insurance and they have bills to pay like everyone else does.  They also get alimony to help them make ends meet plus half of the marital assets.  They don't just get kicked to the curb while the bread winning spouse keeps it all. That's not the way it works.  [/quote]

Uhhh... there's no way then for PP's claim that she gets 1/2 of what her husband earns could be true. I am all for rehabilitative alimony while a divorced spouse gets back on her (or his) feet to re-enter the workforce and support her (or him)self. But on no planet should a spouse EVER (for ANY reason) collect even 1 cent of alimony who does not her (or him)self work a THE SAME # OF HOURS/WEEK in a paying job (or is actively being trained/educated to do so).[/quote]

Depending on the ages of the people and assets involved, it may not make sense to put money into job training when the couple is already approaching retirement age.  You have to look at the big picture.  It's not a one size fits all.  Why should the husband be able to retire in 5 years while the wife is required to work retail until she's 80?[/quote]

maybe she should have thought of that before quitting the workforce.[/quote]

Unfortunately there are numerous reasons that women drop out of the workforce.  The workplace was designed by and FOR men.  Many women can’t handle leaving a young infant with someone else so they can return to work.  Then they get stuck with all of the household chores and child raising.  If they return to work they will now have everything at home plus a job.  Returning to work can mean a paycut and/or their spouse balking at childcare costs.  They have less flexibility since they are starting a new job.  Wait...here comes another baby.  Same issue again.  Now they have been out of the workforce for 5-7 years.  Kids are busy in activities and need transportation.  Kids get in trouble and need supervision.  Elderly parents need assistance and the male children typically shirk most responsibilities.

I agree women should stay in the workforce.  But anyone with common sense is going to understand how and why women quit their jobs.

[/quote]

If you put up with a non-contributing spouse, you will get exactly this dynamic. [/quote]

EXACTLY. Don’t you women who do this see that you’re creating and propagating situations like OPs? Have some pride and create equality in your relationships! Both work, both contribute to the household, both raise the kids. Otherwise you’re CREATING the situation you complain about.[/quote]

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