Reply to Is it worse to have a broken marriage because of an affair or bcs your DH/DW was gay?

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Reply to "Is it worse to have a broken marriage because of an affair or bcs your DH/DW was gay?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m wondering how many of the posters who have had comments about not knowing how the straight spouse could not know would also blame the faithful spouse in a cheating situation? 
Another factor to consider: when your spouse cheats in a heterosexual situation, you get to just be angry. No one can fault you for that. When your spouse comes out as gay, it is hard to just be angry without it being misinterpreted as some level of bigotry. 
[b]Being closeted is a deeply complex situation.[/b] Let us not judge something we have not experienced.[/quote]

You say this but then you compare the 'awareness' levels between having a gay spouse and an unfaithful spouse as similar. They are not remotely in the same stratosphere.

One can cheat once or over a long period of time but its a choice that you take. Being gay is something that is intrinsic to your being and for your own spouse not to 'see' part of you means they weren't looking hard enough.[/quote]

What was I supposed to look for ?  In my case: she said no relationships with women before me, great sex before marriage but became dismal after 3 kids and years of marriage.  Obviously if I had known she was gay I would not have had kids with her.[/quote]

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