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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op work on your gratitude. Another adult doesn’t have to live by your rules. If you continue to disrespect him it’s going to backfire and it certainly will not improve your marriage. Don’t fix the insurance. Say nothing. Let him deal with consequences. Stop harassing this man. Focus on the good. You picked him!!! No one made you do it. If you stop disrespecting him and focus on the good you will be a whole hell of a lot happier and he may even stop half assing things to spite you.[/quote]

Yes. Let’s focus on the good.

What does he do the you, the house, the kids, the family, the schedule, the planning of life goals that is good?

You say “fun dad.” What does that mean??[/quote]

Not OK, but really? Are we supposed to be the handmaids to our husbands because he’s fun dad and makes an occasional contribution? No.  I’m not doing all the housework so he can relax and just go with the flow.  If we checked out as much as these guys are our houses would be overrun with trash and no one would eat.  Considering that most of us are working and contributing to our household financially  finding the good and not having real support in getting crap done is just not good enough. [/quote]

I think that was a sarcastic hypothetical question.

I bet Op cannot list even three concrete responsible adult things her husband proactively does for them. [/quote]

What an utter load of crap. If he was neglecting every other contribution then shoes not put away and countertops not wiped down would not be at the top of this list!!! 
Rt
Does he not bring income? Listen to her and comfort her when she is having issues with work, family, etc? Teach his children things and contribute to their care, maybe not exactly her way but in his way? Build relationships with her relatives and help others when needed? Maintain house and cars? Pay any bills at all? Choose any investments ar all? Plan for their joint future with career goals at all? Buy her any gifts or remember any special days?

You really think her husband does none of those things yet what is on the top of her mind are the countertops and shoes?

Get a grip!

[/quote]

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