Reply to 42, not married, have always wanted to be, and now thinking

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Reply to "42, not married, have always wanted to be, and now thinking - why? Is marriage really that great?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m happily married but wouldn’t bother if I planned to stay childless.[/quote]
I'm happily married (ups/downs of course, but generally pretty happy), and I'd still want to be married even if I never wanted children.  Actually, I never thought about having kids until after I got married.

[b]I'd say marriage to the right person is great.  Marriage to the wrong person, obviously, is miserable. [/b]  The trick is to find the "right" person.  But, I will say that it does really take two to make the marriage work.  Lots of give/take and compromise.[/quote]
This. I think it's also worth considering marriage from the perspective that it's an institution.

Historically, marriage for common people (i.e. not royalty using marriage as a vehicle for building alliances etc) has been about economic efficiency. Pooling resources, ensuring generational asset transfer in an orderly way, etc. I think for many people, the economic aspects of marriage still matter. I earn a very good salary, but DH's is double mine...and most of that is a consequence of someone needing more flexibility to manage our household. It is good for me that the institution of marriage will give me rights to our joint assets. (I know there are all sorts of pitfalls and caveats in a nasty divorce proceeding...but I would have far fewer rights without marriage).

I think there are other social and emotional benefits to marriage that are what we put a cultural premium on these days. And, especially while nuclear family living remains the norm, they are extremely important. If marriage is approached as having institutional gravity that binds you to another human being with a shared commitment to adapting and living together...then it can be very valuable. But it takes a lot of trust to do that...and it can be hard if there aren't other societal forces (e.g. a religious organization) to help ensure both parties remain true to their commitments.[/quote]

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