Reply to Did you have any *unexpected* divorce regrets?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Screw you people who think marriage is a joke and subject your kids to divorce for frivolous reasons[/quote]

I’ll take two divorced happier parents over two married miserable and fighting parents any day, even if it’s for frivolous reasons. [/quote]

I grew up with divorced parents, and this is what I used to say. I was so happy they stopped fighting that I was okay with their divorce. However, now I see more of the damage it did. And I do blame them (mostly my mother) for how they dealt with things. My mom could have told my dad directly what she was missing in the relationship. They could have tried harder to make it work, and to make things pleasant at home. Instead, my mom was just always out for her own pleasure, screw everyone else. [/quote]

Sorry you feel this way, try not to blame them too much though, life’s too short. I get what you mean re seeing more of the root causes as you grow up. My parents just couldn’t communicate with each other. My dad is just really awkward with emotions (even more than most men) and my mom just doesn’t tell her husband how she feels (I see this with her current husband now too). By the end she would just yell all the time and my dad would try to calm her down which would just make her angrier. Not having to live with that dynamic at home anymore was definitely a relief but of course there were other challenges once they did divorce (like my mom refusing to come to my graduation if my step mom would be there...). Overall I still think it was best that they divorced. I don’t blame them, I just try to learn from it. For example, really making an effort to communicate with my DH. I even gave advice to my mom a few years back when I realized this was such a problem for her. Parents are just human, they have faults, make mistakes.[/quote]

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