Reply to My ex is now engaged to the woman he was cheating on me with

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry to hear this.  It hurts, and it’s good to acknowledge that. It shows you are human and capable of reflection and normal emotions.

Spend some time feeling sad, because you need to feel the emotions in order to process them.  Then, after a few days, start focusing on being thankful and happy about some new part of your own life.  Can be anything that you are doing now that you didn’t do before your divorce.

I’ve[b] always been genuinely perplexed about why two adults who cared so little about the institution of marriage that they would lie to their spouse, pursue a married person, have sex with that person while still married to someone else[/b], and even justify those actions in their own minds feel so strongly about getting married quickly themselves.  It’s really quite bizarre.

Marriage didn’t strengthen their commitment, their loyalty, their willingness to work in their relationship, etc.  So what purpose do they think it will serve them this time?

It is almost always 100% about assuaging their guilt.... proving to themselves and others that know what they did that they are the Real Deal and therefore the dishonesty, lies, tears, and betrayal that they caused to be together must be justified.

Sometimes it’s also about trying to alleviate the obvious suspicion that they have of each other.... if you cheated in someone to be with me, can I ever really trust you?  It’s a bandaid approach to addressing the fact that they both are untrustworthy people.

Try not to compare yourself to her, or your marriage to what they will have.  There is no comparison.  She’s marrying a man who lied to his wife to get into a pint her woman’s pants.  Who probably would have continued that charade of keeping her as the side piece indefinitely had you not discovered his lies.  She’s marrying the kind of man who actually justifies in his mind why it’s ok to choose to lie, cheat, manipulate, and gaslight his wife instead of using his Big Boy words to either address his needs or end the marriage honorably.

You probably wouldn’t even date someone like that, would you?  I know I wouldn’t. If I find out a man cheated on his spouse, there are no further dates.  Is it possible he’s made amends and grown and done the work necessary to figure out why he did it in the first place?  Sure.  But there are enough honorable men out there that I don’t need to deal with cheaters.

You will ok.  Hold your head high.  [/quote]
Biology. It’s not really that confusing is it? Humans do not naturally mate for life. That’s a social construct we created (for better or worse) to create a more stable society. Whether it works or not is up for debate. [/quote]

You seriously want to use ‘nature’ as rationale to excuse moral failure?

[/quote]

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