Reply to Tweens dropping one friend from the group

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It would depend on the reason for the shift-[b]is the kid being mean and the rest of the group doesn’t want to put up with it anymore[/b] or is the rest of the group feeling like they are now too cool for the kid? [/quote]

We watched this happen. It can be hard for girls to disclose. My DD was the first to drop her  best friend of 8 years. She wouldn’t tell why and faced a lot of criticism from well-meaning adults. A year later, no one came to the friend’s birthday party so her mom took to FB to slam the mean girls at the school. Two moms responded with screenshots of horrible things her DD had texted their DDs. [/quote]

The DD who sent the mean texts had very hurt feelings and it is sad that the adults (moms) chose to shame her in that way. [/quote]

Both parents were equally wrong in shaming that girl.  When the original texts happened, those parents should have reached out to that mom and mom should have addressed it.[/quote]

My understanding is that neither of those two moms knew about the horrible texts until after the FB post. I completely agree that they should have contacted the mom offline. However, a part of me is relieved it all came out into the open. My child coped with a lot of pressure from adults who were upset that she stopped being the mean girl’s friend. One mom told me daughter that they (including the mean girl’s mom) had prayed for her at church. It doesn’t surprise me a bit that the other girls were too terrified to stop being the mean girl’s friend. They hung in there another year watching what happened to my DD, realizing they could be next. [/quote]

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