Reply to MIL is bitching about the way I host holidays

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ask the MIL what traditions she would like to see.  It seems like the simple and kind thing to do.  As a hostess, I want my guests to be happy and comfortable.  As a DIL, I want to honor and respect my MIL.  I have a high enough self-esteem that I can adjust my menu or practices without feeling threatened.[/quote]

It would be one thing if MIL waited for a private moment with her son and DIL and kindly asked them to consider incorporating tradition X and Y, and offered to help make that possible.

That's not what is happening here. MIL is actively complaining and criticizing; any etiquette expert would tell you the #1 rule of being a good guest is to not criticize your host.

OP is not "feeling threatened" over nothing; she is feeling offended by offensive behavior.

I honor and respect all of my family members who treat me with basic courtesy. I don't tolerate or excuse rude behavior to me or to members of my family in my own home, regardless of the age or "rank" of the person exhibiting the behavior.[/quote]

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