Reply to DH Appears to Have Given Me an Ultimatum

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, 
who funded your lifestyle while you weren't working? why did it take you 5 years to get a job?

Why do you consider his obligations be to support you, but your obligations are only to support yourself? (dont give me bs about growing up poor, that doesn't entitle you to financially abuse your spouse)

If you made so much money that you can buy several houses and apartments, then why aren't you contributing to expenses and why wouldn't you cover his student loans so that you can both maximize your earnings and retirement?

Did it occur to you that his debts were incurred and not paid off because for a long time you weren't working and now that you are you refuse to share your earnings?

Do you understand that the rental income you make is taxed separately from your work income? Unless you asked work to tax you at a much higher rate--equivalent to your salary plus rental income minus rental expenses, you were not taxed for this income. You need a cpa to understand how to maximize rental income and taxes.

Do you understand that in the event a divorce you do not get to decide what is and isn't your money? Do you understand that monies and properties earned during a marriage are split during the divorce unless there is a prenup (and even then..)? You will also not get alimony as you are working and making good money.

You mention you have a child--who pays her expenses? and more generally, what abot household utilities, medical, car, mortgage, insurance, groceries, travel etc? Do you each contribute a percentage based on your respective incomes or what? Do you contribute 50/50 and your husband thinks you should contribute more because you make more?

What happened with your retirement funds when you weren't working?

marriage counseling is not about "airing dirty laundry"--its about communicating about problems and issues in the marriage. Now, if you both go in expecting the counselor to 'take sides' then it wont work.  Finally, I dont know what the situation is with your husband's overseas job and I can understand that you would prefer him to stay put. But does he have a career that requires this, like foreign service? If so, surely you knew what you were getting into.

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