Reply to is it normal for college kid not to have friends?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Totally agree with the above and I have a DD in a similar situation. [b]She has many acquaintances and is involved in many clubs and activities so "putting herself out there" isn't the issue. [/b]It is more about having a difficult time translating these group interactions into true friendships. She also assumes that others don't really want to hang out with her and fears the rejection. She has been seeing a therapist this semester which seems to really be helping her self esteem and confidence though she has a long way to go. They are also working on specific social techniques. She had to realize that once she meets someone she wants to be friends with, she has to follow up and ask them to lunch, or to study, or whatever instead of waiting for them to take the first move and assuming that they don't like her.

In retrospect, making friends has been an issue her whole life but she had a great group of friends from childhood so she never really had to work to make new friends. When she got to college, she really didn't know how to recreate those types of friendships and actually has to learn some skills that others learn naturally.[/quote]

It's exactly the issue -- joining clubs is great, but it isn't the social risk that asking someone to go get coffee after class or asking to sit with someone at dinner is not. (I'm another one who had a hard time asking people to do stuff with me, because someone having something else to do still felt like personal rejection.)[/quote]

How DO students ask each other to do things?  My DC also has this struggle (still in HS) and I want to share some tips before college.  I also wasn't the most outgoing but always had friends somehow--I don't remember any specific conscious effort.  [/quote]

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