Reply to How to explain to MIL why she doesn’t get to visit as much as my my mom does

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think most of you are all crazy. I have the reverse problem. My MIL is extremely helpful with the kids, helps around the house, and generally takes care of herself when visiting. She does not expect us to entertain her. She lives 2.5 hours away. My mother lives a 2-3 hour flight away. When she comes, she thinks she is on vacation and wants us to make her meals and entertain her. She is not particularly helpful with the kids. I work full time. It’s very difficult and exhausting to come home, feed 2 kids, prepare meals for visiting family for days to a week, clean up after them, and get kids to bed. I do it every time they visit but it is very frustrating that my mom is so unhelpful and often acts helpless. After both babies were born, she wanted to come visit right away so she could “help.” Really, she just wanted to feel important so she could tell people she was there to see her daughter and grandkid. I made her wait at least a month both times to visit but my MIL was there within days to a week both times. She stayed for a week and was so helpful. I have no idea how we would have made it through that period both times. I could not have managed my mom and 2 kids while recovering from child birth. Yes, families should make time for both sets of grandparents to see the kids. However, overnight guests staying with families that have small children need to be mindful of the burden they may create. This woman doesn’t need to be equal with how often the grandparents visit. [/quote]

Well, you have the same problem, just with your mom not your MIL. [/quote]

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