Reply to How to explain to MIL why she doesn’t get to visit as much as my my mom does

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Neither your mother nor your MIL are servants.  They’re family.  Try looking at it that way.  [/quote]

Family who frequently stays overnight is just that--family. Family helps. If they wanted to be treated like guests, don't visit so damn much. [/quote]

Where does it say that the MIL wants to be treated like a guest? All I see is the OP complaining that MIL doesn't go far above and beyond like OP's own mom. And its not suprising that with such a codependent relationship, OP is going to prefer her own mom. Where is DH in all this? I'm guessing he's a classic Beta who is not allowed to have any opinions, down to the color of his shirt.[/quote]

Um, people who do nothing but hold the baby and criticize--at clearly stated in the original post--aren't helping, they're making extra work for the host: extra cleaning, extra food, extra emotional and mental energy of having to make small talk and fend off parenting critcisms from literally Armchair Grandma.[/quote]

Its not fair to compare MIL to OP's mom, who by all accounts is Dobby the house elf.[/quote]

I think your comment is funny, but I'm not comparing MIL to OP's mom, or to anyone.

Stand-alone fact: Family visitors who want to visit frequently when there are young children in the household need to help, or at least not be an added burden. Full stop. If you can't pitch in, you need to at least stay out of the way (as in, don't criticize the parenting of the DIL you are visiting.) MIL in this case is clearly not a helper, which is fine...what's not fine is that her commentary and frequent visits make her an added burden. (You have to at least provide guests with clean towels and sheets and clean up a bit before and after their visits, there are extra mouths to feed and extra groceries to buy, so even the most basic of hosting is--hosting!)[/quote]

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