Reply to Does anyone on this forum think nursing homes are horrific?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom's parents both died before this became an issue.
My dad's mother lived to be 99. In the last two years of her life the money left to her ran out. My dad did next to nothing. Let her "friend" take care of things. Grandma ended up in a Medicaid facility in Broward County. It was horrific. She declined very rapidly after that.

I resent my dad so much for not doing anything for her. He's gonna get the same.[/quote]

Why didn't you help?  My MIL is in a medicaid unit.  We'd love to do more but we cannot afford to.  You have no idea what its like.  I was the primary caretaker in my home for a year.   I could not leave her alone which meant my kids could not go to preschool or their therapy appointments often and the adult day care was horrible so that was not an option nor could she ride in the car much.   I spend my days filing complaints, dealing with the ombudsman, adult protective services, etc. but we cannot move her because few facilities will take medicaid (I have tried several times).  [/quote]

I was in college, living hand to mouth, taking classes full-time and working almost full-time. I saved her from being evicted from her apartment and being put out on the street because I visited her at just the right time and saw paperwork in her kitchen. I insisted to my father she couldn’t keep living on her own after watching her struggle through her daily routine and piss herself all day long. I did the best I could at the time to hold his feet to the fire and even then he needed handholding from his cousin. When the money from my great-uncle’s estate ran out and she was kicked out of her decent nursing home, she went to some random Medicaid facility that was horrible. By this time I was living on my own in DC making $40k a year, maybe 10 years ago. I gave him every single possible informational resource to find her a better place. He signed over power of attorney to her “friend” (who we suspect stole from her) and refused to do anything.

I visited her when she first moved into that place and right before she died and the decline was unbelieveable. Yes she was very old. But she didn’t deserve for my dad to abandon her like that. [/quote]

I'm sorry about your grandma, Op.  There is no excuse for your dad to have totally abandoned her like that.  He must have been avoiding going to visit her because seeing her in that place was too hard for him.[/quote]

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