Reply to Do you excuse sexist or racist behavior from a older relative because of their age?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My grandpa, born in the late 20s, who passed a few years ago did still use the terms oriental and colored. It was cringey, of course, but he truly only used them conversationally, [b]not derisively.[/b] It was clearly just his carried over habit of how to describe an Asian or person of color. And he didn't do it publicly. He was actually quite progressive/liberal for his age and geographic location. So, while we didn't love the terms, [b]I don't think correcting him would have broken his habits[/b]. [/quote]
The usage is derisive, do you understand, it is derisive. If no one is referring to you in that manner, then you do not get to make that call.
SHEESH -- this is tiring. The goal may not be to change the person, it is to POINT OUT WHAT IS WRONG. 
SMDH!!![/quote]

dp:  Your understanding of it and my understanding of the terms are that they are derisive.  I don’t use the terms.

But for a 90 year old or whoever grew up thinking that “Colored” was just regular, non-judgmental vocabulary— the way we use “African American” today — it’s absurd to say that it is inherently derisive when their mind makes no such association.  It’s not much different than an ESL person using the wrong word, or a 7 year old thinking it’s funny to call people “suckah!” with no concept of a sexual connotation.

Intent matters.  If you judge people solely by the words they use, with zero consideration for good or ill intent, you will make a lot of errant assessments.[/quote]
Intent matters but no more than how it was received!!! EFFECT MATTERS MORE. I may not have intended to hit you with my car but it damn sure matters that I ran your ass over!!!!
And then you want to provide emergency aide to the driver, not the person bleeding in the street.
And those terms were not inocuous -- they were created and used as ways of being disrespectful, dehumanizing and demeaning to people of color. Do you not realize that? do you not realize that  in a most of those situations people  "thought" they were treating black folks "kindly", at least to the point that they believed they deserved it? They were looked down upon, thought less of and when push came to shove, their humanity was less important than the white person's.  So I don't give a darn if your grand pappy was not trying to be mean, I do not care if he "thought" it was ok -- when you know better you do better.  
What is so difficult to understand???? [/quote]

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