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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, just want to say that I’m rooting for you and your family and hoping for a better way forward. Of course you’re feeling depressed right now; it’s a natural response to having your boundaries pushed and feeling like you can’t control it. You’re on the receiving end from both your spouse and one of your children.

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Thank you. [/quote]

OP, you are not alone.  I am just sitting here thinking the same about DD, who has been like this since I remember.  We were inseparable when DD was small, really enjoyed each other, then at about age 8, she turned on me, blood streaming down my face.  DH literally sat next to DD and acted like it didn't happen - no reaction - nothing.  It was surreal and awful.  Turns out, DH grew up in a really volatile family that turned against him regularly, and DH is accustomed to triangulating, and was just glad to see someone else on the receiving end.  Really effed up stuff.

I had to learn about it the hard way  I never knew families did this kind of thing, or lived under one roof in hostility. My family wasn't perfect, but we didn't treat each other like crap. Now that DD is a teen, I can't see the situation getting any better.  I am getting outside intervention, because it is too much for me (for anyone, really) to handle. I didn't ask for this, neither did you.  It is difficult, when you have done everything you possibly can, you have always been there for them, no matter what, and you get abuse in return. It is a messed up way to live, and I won't let it happen, nor should you.  I am thinking that your DH probably saw his own dad leave the family often, so that is all he knows.  I had to learn the hard way that this is the case in DH's family. My DH is like your DH.  It is extremely difficult. I am grateful for the helpful PPs.

Please let us know what happens. [/quote]

Thank you.  I’m the one with the absent father so I guess I didn’t expect differently with my husband.   I’m also the one with a messed up family so I think he blames me for all of this.  What interventions are you pursuing? Thank you!! [/quote]

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