Reply to Grandma not going to DS Graduation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  [b]I didn't write that I extended the invitation[/b], or that this is my mother.  Of course there is nothing else going on, otherwise I would have mentioned that as well.

I think DS feels it is important for her to be there.  I'm not particularly concerned with graduations personally, as I managed to avoid both my undergrad and graduate school ones, but it's not about me.  I think that's what irks me--it should be about DS, not about what we, the other adults, find convenient.

[/quote]

Um...no. This is an invitation. It is to be accepted or declined. It's not a summons. Would it be nice if she came? Yes. But she is not obligated to if she doesn't want to, for ANY reason.

"I think DS feels"...well, what with being 18 and all, DS can get on the phone and talk to his grandma, with whom he is close, if he wants to.

You are warming up to really work yourself into a resentful place over this. Take a step back. [/quote]

I didn't say it wasn't an invitation, I said *I* didn't do the inviting.  Of course it's not a summons.

I clearly disagree that there is no obligation to attend important events in the life of your family.  Am I really the only one that thinks there *are* familial obligations?  [/quote]

I believe there are family obligations.  I do not believe that graduations are family obligations, at least not for anyone other than the graduate's parents.  They are not that big of a deal, there are lots of other ways to acknowledge someone's graduation, they are really boring, they often involve sitting for a long time in uncomfortable folding chairs and/or the sun, and you actually see very little of the graduate because they are busy with official events and friends.  Being really upset that someone does not want to sit in a huge crowd to witness, at most, 30 seconds of you walking across a stage is not reasonable.  [/quote]

I believe there are family obligations, but definitely not weddings.  Those are not achievements, unlike graduating from something.  So you found someone to marry for the first, second, or third time. They are not that big of a deal, most of the world's population marries, there are lots of way to acknowledge it, they are really boring, they often involve sitting for a long time in uncomfortable folding chairs and/or the sun, and you actually see very little of the bride and groom because they are busy with official events and friends.  Being really upset that someone does not want to sit in a huge crowd to witness your undying love to someone you'll 50/50 divorce is not reasonable.[/quote]

It is an achievement. Not everyone who wants to be married, or wants to be married even to a specific person, is able to achieve that. It is also the bringing together of two families, so it's not just about a cake and signing a piece of paper. [/quote]

I don't think that poster was serious.  I think s/he was snarking on the comment that a graduation is not in the category of "family obligations."  (I'd add, especially not a freaking HIGH SCHOOL graduation.)  Also, I've never been to a wedding that lasted 3 hours, or a crowd as big as that at most graduations.  A wedding is a personal event, specific to the people getting married.  A graduation ceremony is a cattle call.  [/quote]

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