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[quote=Anonymous]Just wanted to offer another perspective, OP.

I pulled my own growth charts from when I was a kid, and your kid's stats match pretty much exactly where I was at 11.  I'm now a normal size (size 6) woman, average height.   
My mom's growth chart said I was up to 67 by my 12th bday appointment, so I must have gained a lot that year.  I remember I weighed 92 pounds (at 5'4") when I left for college, so was still very thin, and have been gradually packing the pounds on with every passing decade.  I did come from a family of very thin women.

But I totally get the concern.  My own tween child has eating issues, and is in therapy for anxiety.  The food is one big issue, and we're trying not to hyper-focus on it, or focus on it in the wrong way, to avoid triggering an eating disorder.

I would be very interested in what the endocrinologist has to say about all of this, as I think a lot of this probably has an endocrine connection.

I'm not quite clear from your post whether the issue is that your daughter refuses food, or just doesn't eat large enough quantities.  I think the former would concern me more.

But a few thoughts, from my experience as both an underweight kid and a mom.

-- I agree it can't be a battle.  But you can impose consequences like "you can't go to X until you have eaten lunch."  Just in a matter of fact way, it's not okay to skip meals -- for her, "meals" might mean 5-6 meals a day, if she isn't eating a lot at one meal.

-- You have to untie the concept of eating with the notion of hunger or desire for food, at least for now.  Eating is like brushing your teeth -- your body needs to do it whether or not you feel the need to do it.  I explain to my kid that, generally, your brain gets messages from your body about what your body needs.  Some people's brains don't get the message that they've eaten all they need.  But other people's brains don't get the message that they need to eat.  (Just like some people's brains don't always get the message that they need to sleep, or need to pee, or whatever.)  Because we know that message isn't always getting through, we need to just make sure you're eating regularly even when your brain isn't getting the message that you're hungry.  There's so much emphasis now on not over-eating (don't eat unless you are hungry), and for some people, the issue runs the other way.

-- I don't know what your nutritionist says, but I would not focus at all on vegetables.  Vegetables are great for long-term health, but they don't do much to promote growth, and are very filling with few calories.  I'd focus on protein, fat and calcium.  Pudding is great; smoothies with full-fat greek yogurt; PB-banana grilled sandwich fried in butter; grilled cheese, quiche, nuts (candied or flavored if she won't eat them plain), etc.  Smoothies are good because you can consume a lot of calories without even noticing it.  Salmon is also great, but I know a lot of kids don't like it.  If you want some recipe suggestions, start a separate thread and I'm sure people can give you some.

Good luck!

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