Reply to DH can't balance work and family. What should I do?

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Reply to "DH can't balance work and family. What should I do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do work but I have had to cut down on my hours because he is unable to adjust his work schedule. I know he is busy but I feel like he has to make some time for family. I guess I am really mad because this issue has come up several times this week because we are on break and because we have started to talk about vacation plans for the summer.  Earlier this week I asked if he could work a few more hours on the weekend so we could take the kids away somewhere for a long weekend.  He got really angry and said he can't take any time off until November/December and I shouldn't ask.   Next I suggested we could meet him for lunch or breakfast one day this week. He was too busy which was fine.  I really try to be understanding but I guess I am struggling to understand why he can't take 5 minutes to say good night to kids when  we are away from home.

I understand work can be demanding but I don't think this lifestyle is sustainable for the long term. We don't go anywhere or do anything.  No date nights. Tried going out for coffee alone- did it three times before he started to complain that "it was one less hour" that he could bill.  This lifestyle sucks.[/quote]

You sound really focused on you. His job is killing him and all you can talk about is how it sucks for you and what you want him to do to make your life better.

-biglaw mom [/quote]

Sure, but he is CHOOSING to work the job that is killing him.  This is really on him 100% to realize that his choice of job is making him into a terrible father & partner.  Some big law associates have the mental and emotional bandwith to remain connected to family, and others don't.  Sounds like he is in the former category.  He needs to either figure out ways to carve out some mental energy for his family, or find a new job.  Because there are more law jobs out there than BigLaw.  I swear, it's so weird how lawyers who were smart enough to go to T10 law schools and get BigLaw jobs become so incredibly disempowered ... [/quote]

Ive been actively looking for a job for 2 years now. Senior associate at a top tier firm, from T10 school. [/quote]

I've never heard of it taking that long for anyone, so you must be doing something wrong.  [/quote]

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