Reply to Tips for dating divorced dads? How to interact with their kids or their mom if you meet them?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP it sounds like (because you have basically said this) that you want a relationship with him but not his children. That really isn't reasonable. His children will be hurt if the person he ends up potentially marrying finds them so unsavory that she keeps her own apartment. As many PPs, blending families is difficult, but the difficulties don't vanish after graduation, they just change. It is fine to accept and plan to never be a 'mom' to a kid that you're meeting as a teenager. But you should have a baseline expectation that you would be a confident, a trusted adult in their life. Because if you don't put some effort into having relationships with the kids, then that will likely eventually pull dad away from his kids and be unfair to them.

If I were a divorced parent and dating someone who said what you said here I'd honestly drop you in a heartbeat. Or at least drop you as a long term prospect. Joining a family IS joining a family, no matter how old/young everyone is. And the idea of having a separate house to avoid them when he has custody I mean...you're setting yourself up as the villain in a disney movie. I mean I kind of understand it, but that will hurt his children, and any guy that marries a woman and lets her go back to her apartment when his kids come over is a bad dad, and therefore likely a bad partner.  [/quote]

I disagree with this.  The kids may appreciate the time they have with their dad without someone else around.  My kids see my XH very little these days because his new family is always there and they never get any one on one time with him.  Someone can have a relationship with the kids without assimilating their lives.  I think it’s fine for the OP to keep her place. [/quote]

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