Reply to Tips for dating divorced dads? How to interact with their kids or their mom if you meet them?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I don't really care about control over scheduling, or who spends what holiday with who. I do care about control over my living space and that is one thing that scares me. I'm really not sure what to do, dating wise. I've always wanted to get married and now I am thinking, maybe that should not be my goal anymore, given how complicated the lives and finances so many men are.[/quote]

IMHO the only real reason to marry is to have kids. I would rethink the marriage thing and also stop dating anyone with kids at home based on your responses.  Your space, your life will include a relationship with these kids.  While you say you don’t care about schedules...those schedules will impact your life.  Your spouse/partner is will not be able to go on vacation with you or attend a wedding. He has his kids. Shopping, cooking, laundry, cleaning all impacted by the sheer number of people.  If your an introvert....it will impact you greatly.  [/quote]

Yes.  OP, also think about what would happen if his ex becomes incapacitated or dies.  God forbid, the result would be you having near-100% custody.  That's what you're signing up for in a serious relationship with a man who has children.  [/quote]

Meh. If you can handle 50% custody, you can handle 100%. The kids are already living in the house.

[quote]Go in with the expectation that the childcare schedule will not change around your needs. It isn't the ex-wife's problem if you want to go on a vacation or whatever other reason you might want her to vary the schedule.[/quote]

This at least is true enough. On the plus side (sort of) the childcare schedule is part of a signed legal agreement. Everything about it is known well in advance. You can plan your vacations accordingly.

Also, from time to time the ex will want to vary the schedule. If you are cooperative about that, then hopefully she will be cooperative on the occasions [i]you [/i]want to vary the schedule. A lot depends on how well the DH and his XW are getting along.[/quote]

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