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[quote=Anonymous][quote]This is exactly why YOU need to talk with coaches yourself. How else are you going to learn what matters soccer wise, what matters to the coach soccer wise, what the coach sees in your player what the coach looks for in other players and the coaches development philosophy as it applies to the team and your player if you don't try and have that conversation? Asking questions is not in and of itself adversarial and there is no reason to view a coach in an adversarial way. It sounds like you have been frustrated and changed clubs a couple of times and based on the quoted statement above you might be overreacting to things that you might not have a full understanding or proper perspective of developmental stages and timelines for players. [/quote]

Believe me, we aren't overreacting and we aren't club hoppers.  We have multiple kids and look for the best situation for each, which is why we have experience with different clubs. In this situation, our coach is hard to pin down to talk to, but when we talk to him, he is great. We have had two extended conversations and none have been adversarial  What he tells us is that our kid has talent, he loves him and wants him on the team, because he believes he could be a great player when the grows. Right now, playing against top level teams, he's a contributor, but not a starter, and that is mainly due to his size.  Previously, at a different club, when he was demoted to a lower level team, we were also told it was mainly due to his size. And he hated that lower team, because the kids knew nothing about soccer and in fact, was at risk of being injured playing with much larger kids who could barely control their bodies. We made him do that for a year and it was not fun. He almost quit. The only thing that kept him going was the supplemental training and playing that he did.

The issue I am raising, not necessarily specific to my child, but relevant to him, is that it is extra hard to find a place to play at a decent level and where soccer is fun when you are a late birthday or small or a late boomer.  Look at these other responses and you can see that my family is not alone.  Sitting on the bench is not easy for kids who want to be out there and when their effort or personal development is not reflected in more playing time, kids disengage.  You yourself seem to equate status and talent with playing time. Kids do that too.  Even if my kid is mentally tough, he sees his playing time as a reflection of his abilities and from that, he concludes he is not that good, which makes him less interested in soccer. He feels the same thing about new kids being added to the team when there is already a large roster. His confidence falters, he plays worse, and now he wants to quit.

You seem to have all the answers, and obviously think I'm a bad parent and my kid ) is a marginal player. Fine. But it is always worth considering whether there is a better way to do things that could benefit more kids and keep them playing sports longer, which is how this conversation started.
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