Reply to Drowning as a working mom--help!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you NEED aftercare.

You are wrapped up in this idea of being the perfect mom and not sticking your kids in aftercare, but instead you are sticking them in front of screens for 1.5 hours while mom works.

Your kids are 2nd and 5th grades. Assuming they're pretty well adjusted overall, they'll have a better experience at aftercare with their peers and they'll get more exercise and possibly homework help, and then they'll come home to a more relaxed, engaged mom rather than one who is overwhelmed and is on the phone while they are in front of the tv.
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I agree with this.  In an ideal world, OP could get into the school's aftercare program and then be able to finish her work and still get home to start dinner around 4:30.  Trying to cram as much work into the day as possible and then still having to work another 1.5 hours after getting home is an awful system.   There might be barriers to aftercare -- the wait list is long at my DCs' school -- so an alternate option would be to have your DCs up their game.  5th graders and 2nd graders don't need screens as babysitters like a toddler does to make sure you aren't interrupted.  They should be playing after having been in school all day.  They can go outside by themselves, play independently, get their homework done, they can contribute to the household by folding laundry or cleaning up a room.  They can definitely be making their own lunches. I have been very upfront with my DCs about how it makes me feel if I'm killing myself to keep the household running and they're just watching me do it.  It's their house/family too; they are expected to contribute.

I don't know what to say about your DH.  His position on outsourcing is silly since he's basically outsourcing it to you for free.  He's not doing it himself.

Also, my happiness level if much higher if I'm not making dinner.  If you remove that from the equation you also save yourself the post-dinner cleanup.

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