Reply to SIL told me I’m breaking her family up

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

MIL and SIL have felt that way ever since DH announced we are getting married. I thought they would settle in after we were married and they get used to having me around. The issue is they never liked me (or any of DH's previous GFs as they always feel threatened by any other woman) and now it is out in the open.

DH has stood up for me multiple times and we limit contact generally. He has told his mom and sister to knock it off but they have personality issues and do not care. DH does say that he will not be able to cut them off ever as they are his family. So limiting contact and only going over for special occasions it is.

However, I do not know how I can sit in the same room as them as I feel very hurt and unappreciated. [/quote]

We did this for years.  I was always nice.  Mil and sil were always miserable.  Funny thing is that they got worse and worse, since we continued to see them (seeing how far they could go).  They started by just being mean when DH wasn't around and then lying about it.  But then they got bold.  Big mistake.  Started doing it in front of DH -- first time, he makes excuses for them, second time, he's confused because they weren't ever this bad, third time, he's had enough.  We haven't seen them in 4 years (his aunt's funeral with whom we stayed close because she never liked mil).  They are his family, so I feel terrible but he says "they never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity" (or something like that -- basically that they could have made things right with him by apologizing to me but they never did).

Stick it out!  But I would insist on them not staying with you and you not staying with them.  Non-holidays/non-special occasions with them (we'd do the weekend after Thanksgiving for example) but big holidays with your family (no need to create destructive memories for years to come -- no one cares that they ruined the day after Thanksgiving).[/quote]

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