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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
NP. I have two kids. 1:1 time is time to do activities that one child wants to do but the other doesn't. For example my 5 year old likes when we have time to build huge structures, play music duets, and do complicated crafts together. My 2 year old likes the sensory bin, watching me draw the the same thing over and over, I'm-gonna-get-you games, and leafing randomly through Richard Scarry books.

1:1 time is also time where they get undivided attention. With the oldest one, I lie in bed and we talk about the highlights of our day -- happiest, saddest, funniest, silly moments. I tell stories from my childhood. Inevitably he brings up things that were emotional at school or with friends and we talk about them. I heard someone say once that bedtime is when you see your children's souls, and that seems about right. There's something about curling up together in the dark that invites him to share things he wouldn't otherwise. Just being present and having the time to listen helps us connect.

A third would lead to more "group" herding and I'm not sure how it would change our relationships. My friend who has 3 certainly went through a rocky time adding the 3rd, and she is in a Scandanavian country where both parents get a year off from work. I think the middle child was upset for about a year and the marriage struggled.

My mom is from a family with 9 kids. 1:1 parental attention for them was if my grandfather took one on his bike to school, or my grandmother gave an individual spanking. I think a large family works best when there is extended family around and a somewhat group-centered culture or religious ideology. [/quote]

I'm intrigued by the idea of group spankings.  Can you tell me more? It seems like a great time saver. [/quote]

Group spankings: Line them up, pants down, over the table, paddle one at a time. The ones who are waiting their turn have the worst of it, listening to the others cry.[/quote]

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