Reply to Help me survive spring break with my overbearing in-laws!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's five days. It's a family vacation. The inlaws are "fine" according to the OP. She has 360 days in the rest of the year to be alone.

I don't see why there is a problem. OP has other issues with her inlaws she's not telling us. Because otherwise she's coming across as overbearing (ironically, given what she said about her MIL).

You either want good family relationships or you don't. And it's clear OP isn't interested in having good relationships with her inlaws. The MIL is probably viewing this trip as a great family bonding time and an opportunity to build memories for the grandkids and to spend quality time with each other. Think about that. Maybe humor her for five days and make her happy?

But I predict this will happen instead. You will be cold and withdrawn with hints of resentment. Your MIL doesn't understand it. It makes her unhappy. She feels trip has been ruined. Everyone goes home unhappy. And you'll twist it against MIL and blame it on her because it cannot ever be your fault.

OP, grow up. Be an adult. Stop making this about you. We do things for family members because it's family. [/quote]

This. If you see them only during very limited times of the year, [b]do your best to have some quality family time together[/b], especially if they are generally good hearted people.

I have given up on on dh's sibling and family, because after 20 years they seemed to resent the less than 5 days we spent together throughout the year.

Think many problems with inlaws that are discussed here have roots in the lack of vacation most of us experience. If there was time to get together with both sets of grandparents, plus a week long vacation you want to go on, there probably would be many fewer problems.[/quote]

"Some" does not mean "all."  You know what isn't quality time?  Sitting around talking for the 8th consecutive hour because no one is supposed to do anything on their own.  If you think that someone has to spend every single minute with you for a week or else you didn't have quality time, that's your issue to deal with.  Normal people do not insist on that kind of togetherness.  Allowing people to have some time alone will probably result in more actually quality time v. someone "sucking it up" and spending every minute with you without reprieve.  [/quote]

+1. It took some time, but my ILs eventually got used to me taking 20 minutes of quiet time here or there. It is much nicer to spend holidays/vacations with them, that I can take a break without being accused of "disappearing" and have my MIL constantly asking where I am/why I'm gone/what's wrong.

Like, she used to do this even when I went to the bathroom. Sometimes, a girl's gotta take a dump, Carole. [/quote]

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