Reply to anyone drop the rope with their spouse?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your plan is fine.

I was also married to someone who had inaccurate perceptions of who he was in a family context. He truly thought that he prioritized his family, but the reality was that all the things that he said were important to him in family life (e.g., family dinner nights, family vacations, knowing our kids' friends and school situations, celebrating birthdays and anniversaries) were things that when push came to shove, he did not prioritize over work. In reality, he was not home for dinner except on the weekend. When we would go on vacation, he would bring his laptop and would work 6 hours a day while leaving me to do all the kid stuff (with the result that my vacation was not relaxing at all). He did not know who DD's friends were and as far as I know, he hasn't met her classroom teachers since kindergarten (she's in 3rd grade now). I spent every birthday of the 5 years we were married alone because he had a work trip at the last minute - usually something that could have been postponed by a couple days or something I could have tagged along on.

Whether it works for you to be married to someone with this tendency totally depends on what you want out of your marriage. [b]If you are willing to settle for someone who will not prioritize your family and will just dip in and dip out as it suits him,[/b] there is nothing wrong with your plan. I did it for 6 years (3 with a kid, 3 without), and it was very lonely. For me, the breaking point came when he started making noises about wanting another child but was unwilling to address the things about our family life and marriage that I was unhappy with. [/quote]

Do you mean "If you are willing to put the well-being of your kids before your self?" Fixed that for you. [/quote]

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