Reply to Being a teen class clown is getting very dangerous in school

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Being a teen class clown is getting very dangerous in school"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Jeez, the sanctimommies are out in force tonight!  :roll:

How about you impose consequences on your children with dyslexia for reading slowly and on your kids with autism for humming and spinning? How about you stop excusing their behavior, eh?

Go back to your first graders, sanctimommies. Adolescence will catch up to you know-it-alls soon enough. Put down your pitchforks and offer something constructive or go the eff away.

[/quote]

This is the Special Needs Board. Most of us have had children who were bullied or teased because they were a little different than the others. I think this explains why we are view this situation severely.

Many of us have children with ADHD, who do not react this way in class. So we have difficulty believing that a child, ostensibly with a disorder that is familiar to us, can act in a way so extremely different from our children with the same disorder. Of course we know that ADHD presents differently for each patient,  and we also know that it's TERRIBLE to blame a parent for the actions of their child. But... there is a doubt here. Why does this middle schooler not understand where the line is? Or if he does, is there any way to better control his impulsivity?

Who knows? He might become the next great comic of our time! OP can tell him that, to keep his spirits up, but in a school environment, he MUST keep his mouth shut. His own safety is at stake.
[/quote]

I'm the parent of the Jewish kid who made the Hitler joke. Do you think that went over quietly in our house? Gosh that was fun. He knew he was in for it, too. He knew it was beyond inappropriate, and he was apologetic and had detention and wrote a letter of apology.

But he was still in the principal's office a week later, for making another inappropriate joke.

The point is, for kids who are stimulation-seekers -- and probably also a certain kind of extrovert, as my son is -- it is satisfying *because* it is inappropriate. The rule-breaking is a rush. The laughter is a rush. My kid knows precisely where the line is: boredom on one side, risk and reward on the other.

This is totally new, btw. Never ever had a discipline issue in high school until... 8th grade.

This kind of impulse control is a huge, huge problem with SOME teens with ADHD -- not all of course but it's very, very well-documented. Blaming a parent who is HERE ASKING FOR HELP is just low. I guess it makes some folks feel better about themselves or something.

Ironically, it doesn't actually help the teacher or the kids targeted by the joke. But some advice about impulse control might!

And please don't talk about consequences. Everyone here has made it through toddlerhood, and we all know that consequences only help when a person has the capacity to CONTROL THEIR IMPULSES. This is pretty basic stuff. [/quote]

PP you responded to.

Thank you for explaining that your child gets a kick out of the impropriety of his joke, despite knowing how the teacher (and other kids) might view the joke.

I did not mention consequences, BTW, and did point out it was an impulse problem. Can your son control himself better when his meds are tweaked? Have you tried role-playing together, or has a therapist tried this approach?

My own 14 year old made a Hitler joke when he was 8 (not Jewish), in front of dinner guests whose jaws dropped to the floor. Luckily, they're long-time friends and gave him the benefit of the doubt. DS stopped doing that before middle school, and I thought it was due to a combination of meds plus our intense pressure/explanation/training...but perhaps it's also that he finds those kinds of jokes intrinsically less self-rewarding than your son or OP's son?

Anyway. It's good to discuss these things, even if tempers flare.

[/quote]

We haven't actually started meds yet -- he was just dx'ed, which is why I'm on this board in the first place -- and after reading this thread I am more freaked out than ever. I really hope the meds help. Actually these few incidents were part what led us to get him tested in the first place. He's a sweet person, never made trouble in his life until he hit his teens and suddenly he's really pushing boundaries, screwing up in school, big time. I hate it, and he hates it, too -- his self-esteem is so low, it breaks my heart.

And I think it's sort of addictive, you know? Like, once you start it's hard to stop yourself? Or something.

Thanks for the respectful discussion, PP. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics