Reply to My children (adopted) said that we weren't a real family

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Every single adopted teenager I’ve met (tons at Lab, Oakwood, etc.) every adopted adult (cousin, BFF, coworker)  I know wants to know about their birth parents/family)  It’s just the reality. Talk about it white their needs in mind. It will not take away from you, their adoptive mother.  [/quote]

I have several friends who are adopted and they have no interest in finding their birth families.  [b]One was kinda interested when we adopted after our experience but decided against it as her family is her family and she's clear about it.  Her needs are met[/b].  You are generalizing to a specific population.  And, if its more talked about today its because of social media and it being easier to open adoption records and DNA tests or open adoptions where there is some or a lot of contact).  Sadly its hyped up and sometimes its great and sometimes not. [/quote]

I don't think this is typical.  [b]Most people have a primal urge to want to know who they are and where they came from[/b].  I think some adoptees try to suppress this desire out of guilt. [/quote]

I'm an adult adoptee and didn't particularly care about meeting my biological relatives. My bio mother ended up contacting me through the adoption agency in adulthood and I was fine with meeting her--once she contacted me I enjoyed seeing pictures of relatives and seeing physical resemblances, hearing some history etc. but it didn't seem like that big of a deal--kind along the lines of hearing about your grandparent's childhoods--mildly engaging, not deeply connected to my own identity.   My bio mother is nice and an interesting person, but a little needy about me and I don't feel all that much connection to her.  I feel bad that it was hard for her to give me up for adoption but I was a baby when it happened.  It didn't feel particularly primal to meet her.  I talk to her maybe once or twice a year--a tad out of guilt because giving me up for adoption was such a huge challenge in her life and she never quite came to terms with it.  My adoptive parents were always a bit surprised that I didn't look for my biological relatives because I am generally curious, but it just never strike me as that important. I haven't bothered to contact other biological relatives.  I have met one of my bio mom's kids when they were in town which was kind of fun--the others live further away. I don't feel like I was previously or am currently suppressing any deep desires for biological connection, but that's kind of hard to disprove.
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