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[quote=Anonymous]This is why I was polite about it but still tough as nails on my boyfriend/husband for the first couple of years. I felt kind of mean but I really loved him but knew I couldn’t stand to play years of mommy to a grown up and I explained that to him. It took awhile but once he got the hang of being a full adult, we could both relax and have harmony.

Now that we have a kid, I am so glad we worked it out beforehand. Cause I think it’s likely a losing battle when there’s young kids. I’d still try.

I think the other poster was right about letting him discover natural consequences and then don’t lift a finger to help. Let him deal with it. I have knowingly let my husband eff something up because I knew if I jumped in to save him, he wouldn’t learn. It usually only takes once anyway and they don’t forget.

Of course, never purposely let him really screw himself, just small stuff like forgetting his lunch, coat, phone etc. later after he has developed good habits and forgets you should say something but if it’s a constant problem sometimes you have to stand back and let him twist in the wind for awhile. Pretty much like how you would a teenage kid.

This is a tough one I think because the guy is a good guy, it’s not a reason to get divorced but who wants to live with this.

I’m sorry about your car. When I was a teenager, my single mom finally got to buy herself a brand new, cool car. Within a 48 hours someone at night school keyed “asshole” across the hood. There was a professor at school who had the exact same car. When I came home, I thought someone had died because she was balling so hard. [/quote]

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