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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your answer is your husband acts like this because:

1. he is irretrievably spoiled 
2. he doesn't care about you
3. he's lazy
4. he's inattentive, possibly to the level of a diagnosis

If it's four- you will need a different paradigm for thinking about and reacting to these behaviors. Looking at it as a global issue that responds to systems of organization and possibly treatment can help you and save your marriage.

If it's 1-3, then it's a personality flaw that I, personally, wouldn't want to live with. [/quote]

OP here ... I think it's a cross between #3 and #4.[/quote]

OP, 4 definitely looks like 3. It's being unable to regulate attention long enough on something essential but uninteresting--people will assume "lazy" not because they love doing the dishes, but because they can focus long enough to do it well. I'm the earlier pp who suggested divided household labor into things that your DH is good at. You might be surprised at how equal less stressful things start to feel if you divide things differently.

The car would upset me too- but you will need to get it fixed and let it go. It wasn't malicious- your DH was in la la land and didn't hear you-- or he processes slowly and didn't change his course of action in time.

I think the worst thing you can do is continue to be frustrated and not make efforts to talk or change things in your marriage-- even going the marriage counseling route. It could get your DH to see some things about himself and how it affects both him and his family- if he's at the level where he needs some outside help, it might encourage him to seek it. [/quote]

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