Reply to Are grandparents generally more closer with their daughter's kids than son's kids?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Are grandparents generally more closer with their daughter's kids than son's kids?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m hoping this will change with future generations but women carry he majority of emotional labor and childcare. My in-laws only ask dh how he’s doing or if he needs help. They never asked how my pregnancies went, how I was postpartum or how I am during dh’s deployments. Because dh didn’t need help or didn’t like to call, they never spoke to me. If you want to be close to your grandkids, have a good relationship with the DIL. My in-laws never spoke to me, just dh, so when he’s gone they don’t bother to ask about the kids other than to stalk me on Facebook. They’re takers. They want constant visits but never visit us. They want updates but never text me. I’m the one here with the kids while dh is gone. [/quote]
On the other hand I will see a lot of DIL’s criticizing how intrusive, nosy, judgmental their inlaws are.  There’s a post now complaining about inlaws wanting to visit when her DH is gone.  It’ must be very hard for them to carefully balance exactly what each DIL might want.[/quote]

NP. I see your point, but I think the threads we see tend to be the extreme cases, yes?

I read that thread about the ILs wanting to visit during the week when their son is not yet home. Did you read the whole thing? OP goes out of her way to say that the ILs are not helpful and actually expect to be "hosted"/waited on during these weeknight visits. You really don't see how the dynamic would be different if the ILs:

1) Waited to visit on the weekends if they expect to be "hosted" 
2) Visited during the week but actually helped out with homework, meal prep, clean-up or whatever else would be helpful to that OP
3) Visited during the week to be "hosted" but waited until the son was home and/or departed when it was time to put the kids to bed so as not to disrupt a weeknight for a busy helpful

I honestly don't get these threads where DILs are called "bad DILs" because they don't want to take on every piece of emotional labor/hosting/difficult dynamics with literally no help from their husbands. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics