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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I was single until 32 and had my first at 35. I actually disagree moms get it worse. I say it’s different but about equal for women.

Single women get treated like they are always trying to use s3x to get ahead. Also, they are treated as not serious in their professional commitments and I was dumped on hard by an older colleague who took 2 long ass maternity leaves on my watch as a single and I was expected to have no reason to complain. I think I’m respected as a wife and mom and I don’t use my kid as an excuse for anything (I just say I have an appointment and leave it at that if I need to run an errand for my kid). And healthcare sucks for women regardless - hello mysogyny in access to HPV vaccines or birth control. [/quote]

Your entire post is a form of misogyny. You trash another woman's "long ass" maternity leave and then brag about how you're respected because you don't use your child as an "excuse." Your upholding the structures that make it difficult for all women to succeed in their careers and also acknowledge the labor of motherhood--which should be acknowledged and not merely dismissed as inconvenient to other people. [/quote]

PP. anyone who defended me earlier was not me. My point is I think it’s equally bad for women not worse for moms. [b]No, it’s not misogyny to point out that colleagues cover for mom’s maternity leaves and some moms take advantage of the system.[/b] That’s a reality and you can’t ignore it. Also my issue with her maternity leaves wasn’t that she took then, it was that I as a single was expected to shoulder the work and accept the damage to our business without complaint. And they were longer than they needed to be.

I didn’t brag about anything. I said I feel respected AND I said I don’t mention my kids at all when taking time. Same as I wouldn’t say I was taking care of elderly parents or getting my nails done or going to the gym/ doctor or whatever.  I’d just say it was personal and needed the time.  And the more personal time anyone takes, the more they need to be willing to make it up on nights or weekends or covering for others.  If you want a decent system at work, you don’t set up a system where single women don’t have access to the “legitimate excuses” for personal time. Obviously for long leaves (surgery, maternity leave, serious illness), people know why bc we’re human and have relationships and people talk.

To another poster, yes I read the article. She came off to me as fairly self promoting. Her biggest complaint seems to be that she struggled to get her podcast going in the beginning - cry me a river and just be content to have proven them wrong. She also describes herself as a reluctant feminist and young mom. She strikes me as naive about mysogyny and motherhood happened to be what knocked her blinders off.   I recall she had a horrible birth injury and I agree there’s a lot of mysoginy and disfunction in women’s health care, and I sympathize, but I think it’s a women’s health issue not mom’s issue. [/quote]

What is this "system" that you speak of that moms are taking advantage of? Most people don't have maternity leave that is paid for by their company and are forced to cobble together sick leave, their own money, and maybe a short term disability policy if they are lucky. The only thing people are supposedly guaranteed is that they cant take 12 weeks and their job will still be there for them. You sound like the epitome of the trying too hard "cool girl" who is willing to throw other women under the bus to fit in with "the guys."

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