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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And to be clear (I’m 9:01), I was paying my own rent, phone bill, buying groceries, etc. as soon as I graduated. Got off my parents insurance when my sister graduated (since keeping me on was no more expensive as long as she was on it). I just don’t understand the people in this thread and would like to. [/quote]

This is OP. My concern isn't entirely focused on finances. That's part of it, because I do fear that this "long planned engagement" will turn into actually getting married once the ring is on and the bridal magazines come out. Its fun to plan a wedding and tempting to not wait.

But my bigger concern is about the age they are at. The brain is not fully developed until age 25.  At age 20, a kid has way too much growing to do to not entirely focus on themselves and developing who they are. Its a big step to consider "two" rather than "one" when going through all of that development.  It is a very, very long life, and the selfish period is incredibly and preciously short.

And without any extenuating circumstances (ie a pregnancy or something)...I don't understand the rush.[/quote]

Holy shit, you sound exactly like my mother. The rush? We didn’t see the point in waiting. We wanted to be married, it was that simple. We had so much fun learning about ourselves with one another. A partner should be a best friend. Did your closest friends hinder your development? If it is healthy, they will support one another through the changes. Doesn’t matter if it the changes of maturing those years, dealing with the death of a parent, having children or dealing with a serious illness. Life is long and will be full of a hundred stages and changes. In each, it is about growing and dealing with those things together.

You don’t get to decide if they get engaged or married, you get to decide how to react. You get to decide if the choices you are making today meet your long term goals. Do you hope to have a close and open relationship with them? Want to be an involved grandma someday? Then show love. 
[/quote]

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