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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My marriage survived (my) infidelity, 7 years ago. Husband trusts me fully. Unfortunately, I feel like his love for me never really returned. I've been waiting and I've finally accepted this year that its not happening. My husband likes me as well as any random person on the street. He is kind and treats me with respect. But if I died tomorrow, it would be a mild inconvenience to him, nothing more. If I knew it would be like this, I would have left. We never went to counseling (he wasn't interested). Both partners have to work to build a new, better marriage after an affair. If it doesn't look like that is going to happen, just leave. [/quote]

Honestly, your self-absorption is a bit mind-boggling.  [b]You betrayed him and your children in the worst way possible, and you’re upset he doesn’t love you like he used to?[/b] What did you expect?   That you could do something horrible and things would get better? 
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Yes. That is exactly correct. I didn't stay in my marriage so I could wear a hair shirt and flog myself daily. I stayed with my husband because I thought we could rebuild a new life together. I was wrong. We didn't have children at the time, FWIW.[/quote]

Here’s the thing about cheaters:  one of the many underlying personality flaws that drive them to deal with problems by cheating is an unwillingness to suffer the consequences of their actions, and an interest in living in a fantasy world rather than reality.

Your response is a demonstration of this.  You admit that although you betrayed your husband, he still likes you, respects you and treats you kindly.  But that wasn’t enough for you - you wanted him to “love you like he used to” (which evidently wasn’t love enough since you cheated on him).   You still demonstrate the typical cheater mindset - unwillingness to live with consequences of your behavior (by insisting that he feel a certain way about you despite your behavior) and preferring to have some fantasy marriage rather than a real one (you’d like to believe that he’s so in love with you that if you died he’d be wailing over your casket and flinging himself on your funreal pyre or something).

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