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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Husband as default parent?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I have no idea and cannot comment on your marriage. Both DH and I have solid careers, making well over 500k combined. He is in sales and works from home and has the most glorious flexible work schedule. He does probably 70% of the domestic duties (shuttling kids around, making and taking kids to doctors appointments, doing laundry, getting the kids homework done). This is mainly because I'm physically in an office 3-4 days a week and when I'm having downtime at work taking to co-workers, he is putting in a load of laundry or running a kid to the orthodontist. I just do not have the hours in the day that he has to devote to domestic life. If he was not able to do these things and had my similar work schedule, we would simply have to outsource more or hire an AuPair and and someone to do the laundry [b]I suppose I just married a normal respectful human being who is fully aware that being a father take effort.[/b][/quote] People who say stuff like this are not even trying to be helpful. For most of humanity, and certainly most of modern America, the stuff you describe your DH doing has not been the norm. And it's really hard to break out of "expected" patterns if you aren't 100% conscious at every moment. My DH did a ton of domestic stuff before his career took off (all meal prep, grocery shopping, joint laundry like towels etc). Now our nanny does this stuff, and I don't think he'd even be able to figure out how to do it. But if our nanny is sick, guess who does it? My DH isn't a misogynistic monster, but he's not fully conscious of the gender dynamics at play in our relationshp. It doesn't make him a man-child...but it makes him pretty typical. Sounds like your DH is really progressive about ensuring equal division of labor...why not be happy about that instead of putting down people whose experience is different?[/quote]
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